Divorce as a threat point is one of the biggest forces being used against the biblical and traditional view of marriage as a divine institution. Even those who are advocating for men are not immune to its presence.
In an article on The Catholic Gentleman, Sam Guzman writes about male pride and prescribes “Three Words That Can Save Your Marriage.”
But not to worry, the Great Physician has a prescription for the deadly disease of pride, namely the three powerful but painful little words I referenced in the title of this post. What are they? “I am sorry.”
How unstable is a marriage where a lack of apologize can destroy it? How fragile is the union-a Catholic union!-that to not say “I am sorry” can doom it to oblivion?
This required apology is not for major offenses such adultery, abuse, or drug trafficking. Rather the apology is for certain impolite behaviors.
It really is so simple. Were you a jackass, were you a jerk? Did you really mess up? Apologize, and mean it!
And if the man doesn’t apologize for being “a jerk”? Well, then the marriage may not be saved. But who is threatening the husband with destruction of his marriage? God? The Church? The church is definitely a culprit, but the real threat is the woman and the feminist state backing her.
Dalrock writes of divorce as a point of threat against the husband, quoting academic studies:
Under unilateral divorce the value of the exit threat increases for the unsatisfied spouse, as the right to remarry is retained regardless of the position of one’s spouse … If the divorce threat is sufficiently credible, it may directly affect intrafamily bargaining outcomes without the option ever being exercised.
So the threat is that if a Christian husband does something that makes him jackass or jerk and does not apologize then the Christian wife may feel that her husband is not loving her the way she feels that a husband should love his wife, according to the bible, and leave him. Of course, the wife may not have any real intention of leaving him, but the threat is always there, keeping her husband in line with her feelings.
If mama ain’t happy, the divorce lawyers will be.
Sam Guzman also writes:
I have lost count of the times I have been selfish and insensitive toward my wife. Yet, as soon as I become aware of a sin I have committed toward her, I strive to apologize for it and make it right as soon as possible. The beautiful thing is, my wife always rushes to forgive me, and often, she apologizes for her own sins if she is at fault.
“Selfish and insensitive” are ambiguous terms, pointing toward an emotional offense as opposed to a biblical or practical offense, like adultery or violence. How does he become “aware” of the offense? His wife being angry or, more likely, sobbing? A woman using tears to manipulate men is as old as time. The romantic use of words like “rushes to forgive” indicates an emotional response to his apologies, verifying an emotional offense. She is not required to confess any sins as she is assumed to be completely innocent in the matter.
Keep in mind that this is not an article about how make a marriage more peaceable, but how a man can save his marriage from destruction.
The problem is that a man who is functioning as the authoritative head, the prophet, priest, and king of his family, is going to make decisions that will not please his wife. He is going to do things that may be wise and good, or even personal, but because those decisions may not align with his wife’s wishes and feelings, he will be seen through the lens of her emotions as selfish and insensitive.
So, Sam Guzman’s marriage is one where he must constantly struggle to keep his wife happy to keep the wrath of God from coming down on him through his wife’s freedom to divorce without fault. His ability to rule his own house is rendered null and void.
In another article, Dalrock imagines a story where a man does not apologize for being a jerk to his wife.
My first thought was to really grind in this message of the Holy Threatpoint by having one of the husbands play the role of the villain; he would fail to submit to his wife when threatened and she would follow through and destroy their family. Then she would use the family courts to bleed him white with child support and alimony. In the end of the movie we would see him in a prison cell, having been driven to a life of crime in an attempt to pay the required sums to his wife.
In the world of The Catholic Gentleman, the Christian husband would see the destruction of his life as just punishment from the throne of Christ Himself, all because he did not apologize for hurting his wife’s feelings.
MGTOW really is a strong temptation.